From Blame and Victimhood to Empowered — Part 2
How to Turn Awareness into Empowerment and Journal to a Braver, Bolder Life
Reclaiming by Pen
By Jill Grumbache, Founder of Holistic Journaling Ink
Introduction: From Realization to Revolution
So… you’ve realized that blame has been your emotional comfort food. That victimhood has been subtly (or loudly) directing your inner monologue. You’re not alone—and you’re not stuck. Awareness is the first step, and it’s a biggie.
Now comes the real magic: transformation.
This second part of my article is your permission slip and pep talk to shift from why me? to watch me!
We’re not here to erase the hard stuff—we’re here to alchemize it. Because the pen is in your hand. And the page is still blank.
Let’s talk self-responsibility, reframing, and the kind of journaling that shakes you up—in the best way.
Step One: Reclaim the Narrative (Even If It’s a Mess)
If you’ve spent years (or decades) being told who you are by circumstances or other people, it’s no surprise that your story feels hijacked.
Now it’s time to take the wheel. That doesn’t mean rewriting history—it means reframing how you relate to it.
Try this: Write a “This is what happened, and this is what I’m doing now” paragraph. Honour the truth of what hurt you but put your power in the now part.
Example:
“Yes, my trust was broken by people I loved. But now I’m learning to rebuild trust in myself. I set boundaries. I check in with my intuition. I give myself what I used to beg for.”
Your voice belongs in the present and future tense, not just the past.
Step Two: Speak to the Shadow—Not Around It
Carl Jung had it right: “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
What is shadow work, really?
Carl Jung believed we all share a collective unconscious—a deep, shared layer of the psyche. Within this inner realm, he saw a duality: the light and the shadow.
The "light" is what we consciously know about ourselves.
The "shadow" is everything we don’t—our fears, instincts, suppressed memories, and untapped potential—lurking out of sight.
Unlike Freud, who saw the unconscious as something dark and destructive, Jung took a more nuanced view. To him, the shadow wasn’t just a psychological junk drawer. It could hold creative insight, emotional truth, and even our hidden brilliance. Shadow work, then, is the process of gently turning toward those unseen parts—not to banish them, but to understand, integrate, and grow from them.
There exists a technique we call Shadow Work Journaling. This helps you name the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding: the part that feels envy, rage, helplessness, or wants revenge. Yikes, right? But guess what? That part of you is human. And it needs to be heard, not hidden.
What is Shadow Work journaling?
Shadow work journaling is a practice that involves exploring the hidden parts of ourselves, including our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that we often keep tucked away.
It serves as a tool for self-discovery, allowing you to accept both their positive and negative aspects, ultimately leading to a more authentic self.
This journaling practice helps in processing feelings and integrating these "shadow parts" into our lives, promoting personal growth and healing
How to Get Started with Shadow Work Journaling
Shadow work is about shining a light on the parts of yourself you’ve hidden or ignored. Journaling is one of the most effective (and revealing) tools to do just that. It acts like a mirror for your mind—giving shape to emotions and stories that usually live underground.
But heads up: shadow work isn’t a race or a TikTok trend. It’s deep, layered, and personal. Here's how to ease into the practice without burning out:
1. Ease into it—gently.
This isn’t something you rush. Shadow work takes energy, courage, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. Start with short journaling sessions—maybe 10 minutes. Then stop. Let it breathe. Come back to it when you’re ready.
2. Use prompts to guide the process.
Don’t go spelunking in your subconscious without a flashlight. Prompts give you structure and direction, so you’re not left staring at a blank page wondering where to begin.
3. Acknowledge every bit of progress.
Digging into your inner world isn’t easy—so celebrate the fact that you’re doing it. Even a few sentences of honest reflection is a win. Growth is happening, even when it’s messy.
4. Share if you need to.
Optional, but powerful: sometimes saying things out loud helps us process what’s hard to write. Talk to a trusted friend or a therapist if you feel called to. Shadow work doesn’t have to be a solo expedition.
🖊️Prompt: What part of you do you judge the most—and what would happen if you listened to it instead?
Write without shame. This is the emotional compost that grows resilience.
Step Three: Inner Child, Meet Adult You
When our inner child is in charge, things become chaotic. Adult-you gets ditched in the backseat, and before you know it, you’re reacting to life like a six-year-old who just got left at daycare again.
Here’s the fix: Write a Dialogue between you and your inner child.
Dialogue: What is it?
It’s an incredibly effective journaling technique that’s considered the Swiss Army knife of journaling.
An exchange between you and a person or thing where you ‘speak’ both roles on your page, it will look like a movie script.
You can feel uncomfortable at first - but stick with it! The words will begin to flow in a way that surprises you.
Dialogue is also…
A marvel of flexibility
A key psychological tool of depth and insight
A technique that can take you into or through almost any journal situation you can imagine
Is popular in many psychotherapeutic genres, including Gestalt, Jungian, and sub-personality psychosynthesis
It might look like this (start with a question):
Adult You: It’s been a long time since we’ve talked. I’m checking in with you. What are you thinking or feeling at this point in our life? (Now let the answer rise up, with practice it will come to mind quickly. Don’t overthink.)
Inner Child: “No one sees me. I always get left behind.”
Adult You: “You were overlooked. That hurt. But I see you now. I’m not leaving. We’re doing this together.”
Let your inner child speak freely. Let her cry, whine, scream. Then respond as adult-you. Give comfort, wisdom, and—importantly—structure.
Always thank your dialogue ‘partner’ (in this case, your Inner Child) at the end of your journaling entry.
Do this weekly. It builds trust—within.
Step Four: Rewrite a Scene with a Different Ending
Pick a memory where you felt powerless. Now rewrite the ending—not to change the past, but to change how you hold it, or to discover a new perspective on it.
🖊️Prompt: In that moment, what could you have said, done, or believed if you had known your worth?
This is not about regret—It’s about rehearsal for next time. The more you practice choosing empowered responses on the page, the more likely you’ll live them in real life.
Step Five: Start a Daily “Responsibility Reboot” Log
Each night, write two quick things:
One way you took responsibility today.
One thing you will own tomorrow.
This trains your brain to look for agency. It rewires your sense of self from “This always happens to me” to “I’m shaping what happens next.”
Final Note: You’re Allowed to Be Both
You can be healing and still hurting. Brave and still scared. Powerful and still figuring it out.
This isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress.
So go ahead! Write the scene where you rise. Draft the page where you stop apologizing. Start the paragraph where you own your joy.
Victimhood may have been the opening chapter. But empowerment gets the final word.
And girl, it’s got your handwriting all over it.
Stay brave. Stay honest. Stay holding the pen.
Happy Inklings!
Jill